What is God teaching you about how you personally handle conflict in your life? · How can “speaking the truth in love” help you to gain greater understanding of those with whom you have conflict? · What conflicts have you delayed resolving?

I think for me the handling of conflict is a tricky proposition. I tend to lie in the school of the "passive / aggressive" type. Often the way I handle conflict is to block it out, to hold my frustrations in, until they eventually explode in a situation that is not becoming of an individual. I have to be willing to clearly communicate the issues that I am having in an open forum; too often I let things pick at me. Speaking the truth in love allows me to express my feelings before it builds up and festers into something greater than it ever needed to be.

I can't think of any conflicts that I need to resolve; I feel like certain conflicts need space for perspective before a resolution can come to pass. When we distance ourselves from the situation a bit, we are better able to understand every side of the story. 

Three key words to make part of your journal experience this lesson: · Acknowledge that sin has had devastating effects in your own life, family, and world. · Confess any known sins in your present life—and forsake them at once. · Praise God for past and present forgiveness for sin and for cleansing your heart.

As I look at this list of things in regard to sin, I am most intrigued by the last one. It seems easy to acknowledge the problems we have in our lives, the sin that so easily entangles. It seems easy to confess that to God. I think we run into issues with forsaking our sin and praising God for his forgiveness. I think often the Devil creeps into our lives, with his lies and deception that makes us think that we are not truly forgiven. We have to continue to hold to the precious blood of Jesus Christ, the blood that makes us whole. We can never let go of the great thing that Jesus has done on our behalf in extending his great mercy towards us.

How are you doing in your response to those who speak truth to you in love?

I think this is a tough one for me. I often times have a hard time speaking the truth. What I mean by that is that I often will hold my tongue as a means to avoid confrontation. There are times when I want to say something, yet I hold in for the sake of avoiding an argument. The issue with that is that it can often turn into a passive-aggressive situation, where the frustration I might be holding by not saying anything appears in another situation, or in my disposition or attitude. Sometimes holding your tongue is not the best thing to do. Sometimes you have to say how you feel, truthfully, but not with ill intentions.

Recount one incident you had this week where the words that were spoken either helped heal or hurt a relationship.

I recall an instance where someone said something about a particular event that I found to be highly offensive. The individual made a blatantly racist remark, and it caught me off guard. He had a great laugh out of it, and I was so uncomfortable that I didn't really know what to say. I let him know that it was offensive on so many levels, but I don't believe he took me seriously. It is interesting how quickly something that is said can change your perception and perspective of who a person is. Sometimes, a simple sentence can completely wreck your credibility in the eyes of another person. We have to be very careful with what we say, lest we lead individuals astray.

What are you learning about “incarnational leadership”?

I think the thing that sticks out to me about incarnational leadership is allowing God to lead me, and not try to lead myself along. I find that for me, I like to chart out my own course for how I am to go about doing the things I am going to do, and I can find myself forgetting to see what God would have in store for me! Often times it can be so easy to seek God's help when everything has gone to a chaotic level, but in leadership we have to seek his wisdom and guidance first!

I find that for me, incarnational leadership is about choosing to live and lead the kind of life that God is calling me to lead. I have to be willing to put myself aside for the sake and glory of the Gospel.

More specifically, if I could accomplish three goals in the next 90 days that would make a significant difference in my ministry effectiveness, what would I do?

I think the first thing I would like to do in the next 90 days is create an effective service program during the school year. In the Summer time, I have a great volunteer program, in part because the kids I work with do not have school. When school kicks back on, It becomes very difficult to find the opportunity to engage the kids in works of service.

The second thing I would do is do a better job of planning my days in the local schools. I would like to have a more visible presence in the local schools, but there are over 10 different schools that are on my watch list.

The final thing I would do is continue to plan better for my Wednesday Night lessons. For example, tonight. I had to work at another job all day, and I didn't have time to plan my lesson, and it was met with mixed results. I have to do a better job of coordinating my time to make sure I am giving my best to these kids.

Record your reflections about new things you learned today about two or three of your classmates. Write a one-sentence prayer for each of them.

I think one of the things that I have learned about my classmates is their level of commitment to this course work. In the discussions, some of them will write profound, thought provoking responses to the questions asked, while others will attempt to further the conversation with responses like "Amen", or "I agree!". Please give me something to work with! Feel free to disagree, to talk about the differences in your thinking! Please contribute more to the conversation than just a simple acknowledgement that you have attempted the bare minimum to complete the assignment.

"Lord, I pray that as the content of this study touches our hearts and minds, that we would be responsive to the power of your word to enlighten our thinking and further prepare us for the work you have set out for us."

List in your journal endings, in-between times, and new beginnings that you have experienced in the past 10 years. I have found for me that I don't experience a whole lot of beginnings and endings. I have a lot of in-between times in my life, where I am just going along with the day to day "drudgery" of life, if you will. I can point to new career experiences, deaths and births, and changes in relationships, but I think that these things often blend in to the average, ordinary, everyday things. I am reminded of a song by the Orange County Supertones called "Jury Duty", and the chorus goes "Every single moment whether sleeping or awake its your creation, and what you made is good. I don't always thank you for the rough days and the hard times in my life, even though I should." I think we just live life, missing the things that we should be thankful for, in good and in bad.

The effort that I am willing to put into this course and into my own spiritual formation during this module is best described by the word… Struggle. I think spiritual formation is the most difficult thing to teach, train, and build in the Church. It sounds so simple: "Just go read the Bible". Well, how? "Just go and pray". Well, how? Even when the principles and ways of getting into a devotional happen are learned, the commitment to do those things is difficult, if not impossible sometimes. Spiritual formation is a struggle, a struggle between growing in our knowledge and relationship with God, and taking care of the responsibilities and pressures that our family, friends, careers, and life in general put on us. God give us the strength to grow in our love, knowledge and understanding of who you are.

This is a bit of a worksheet from an intercessory prayer guide. My ministry of intercession: Specific people, concerns, needs I want to lift to the Father. The one burden laying on my heart today is for a couple of young men who were recently killed in a car accident. Their deaths were abrupt and unexpected, and as I attended the funeral of one of these young men today, I couldn't help but feel very sad for the loss they were experiencing. I know these kind of things happen in everyone's life, but it is just such a great tragedy when the very act that brought their death could have been prevented.

Based on the discussion of servant leadership, if I could accomplish three measurable objectives in the next 10 years that would make a 50 percent difference by the end of my life, what would they be? I think the first objective that I could measure would be in my personal time spent in devotion with Jesus. If I can maintain a daily, directed devotion time, I am almost certain that would make a 50 percent difference in my life. Secondly, I would measure time spent praying with my wife and children. If I engage on this in a regular basis, it would make a 50 percent difference in my life. Finally, I would measure time spent engaging in works of service. If I can engage in consistent, regular acts of service, I know it would make a 50 percent difference in my life.

"Christian ministry is the extension of the service of Jesus in our world, incarnating the healing, guiding, sustaining, reconciling work of Jesus in the lives of those with whom we work and live. If you are a Christian, you are called to Christian ministry. ·A servant is one who gets excited about helping someone else succeed. ·Christian leadership is humble service to others in the community of faith whose head is Christ for the purpose of enabling them, through modeling and teaching, to live their lives under the Lordship of Christ, and to understand, accept and fulfill their ministry to each other and their mission in the world. ·If our philosophy of life is based on a biblical theology of church and ministry, then our style of leadership will convictionally focus on the qualitative growth of the led as ministers of Jesus Christ, called to serve others in His name." I love the point made that leaders are to help individuals do three things with their ministry. First they are to help them understand their ministry to each other and their mission in the world. I think it is difficult to arrive at a destination if you do not know the means of getting there. You can certainly try to go, but without the an understanding of how to get there, you could be easily lost. The same is true for ministry. If you do not understand what God is calling you to do, how can you even expect to effectively play a role in the building of the kingdom? A leader must point people towards the mission of God, helping them explore their talents and gifts to understand what God has in store for them. The next point is accepting their ministry and mission in the world. I think this one can be tricky sometimes, because I think the idea of doing something in the name of Jesus can be challenging or scary. I think of a friend who gets shell shocked at the idea of speaking in front of a group of people. In the same way, the thought of stepping out of our comfort zone and getting dirty for the Lord can be tough! The leader must walk alongside these individuals as they test the waters of ministry and mission. Finally, we are called to fulfill our ministry and mission in the world. We understand what God has called us to, we have tested the waters and have accepted his call, now we must be proactive and get out and do it! I think this can be a tough part, often because our lives are filled with so many other obligations and responsibilities, we have a tendency to place the calling of God on level with all the other activities we engage in. We have a mighty calling in serving Jesus Christ, and we must not overburden ourselves with other things in the world to take away from that call.

What is the difference between a manager and a leader? I believe that a manager works to achieve a task or a goal. A manager facilitates assets, including equipment, money, and labor, and uses those to achieve a task, usually to make money. A manager cares only about the bottom line; individuals or assets that no longer benefit the task are upgraded or completely replaced. Accomplishing the task is the bottom line for the manager. A leader, on the other hand, is in individual who is often working in the trenches with those being led. They are usually setting the example for what is expected of the group being led. Even though they are leading, they never lord their leadership over those being led; they are often approachable and willing to pitch in whenever work is needed. Leaders recognize that assets are important and need to be taken care of, they need to be molded and shaped into better workers and better people.

In your experience, whom have you considered the most influential leader? What did that person do that you consider characteristic of a good leader? This could be someone in the church, from work, from school, etc. Since this is a public posted blog, I will refrain from naming a leader, but I will describe the characteristics that I see in a good leader: Compassionate - A genuine love and concern for others. Friendly - Someone who is approachable, and easy to talk to. Driven - Sets out goals, challenges people to partner in the task with them. Flexible - Sees bumps in the road as things to work through, not things to get frustrated at. I think a good and influential leader needs these traits (among others) to be able to lead effectively.

"Every aspect of Wesley’s relentless focus on an individual’s holiness was for the purpose of making that individual an agent of perfect love to those around him or her." I love the connection stated between holiness and love. These concepts are unmistakably connected; I don't believe one can exist without the other. Sure, there are the world's definitions of love: sexuality, passion, having someone make you "feel good", but these are fleeting at best. True, perfect love comes from a unique connection to loving God with our inmost being, and loving others in response to our love for God. In doing this, we are able to live our lives in love the way God is calling us to, no longer thinking about our own needs and feelings, but thinking about other people as well. This is the perfect love God is calling us to.

"Through saving grace we are Christian through and through. And yet we are always in the process of becoming Christian, becoming what we are. Wesley has given us a model that allows for our intentionality that cooperates with God’s gracious initiative. Progressive sanctification, then, is crucial in the Christian life; the process is a crucial follow-up to important moments of commitment. The Wesleyan understanding of the means of grace aims at Christian maturing, which never ceases in the journey." I think this is a point that a lot of Christians miss out on. They claim the salvation power of Christ, but that is as far as they go. I think the great misconception is that accepting Christ as Lord and Savior is the end of the Spiritual Journey, moving simply from death in sin to life in Christ. Truly it is just a small part of the journey. The growth and maturity of faith and relationship with Jesus is something we should engage in for a lifetime, continually being willing to lay on the altar of Christ anything that might get in the way of our ability to serve him in the way he is calling us to serve. I think when we remove ourselves from the equation and let God fill in the blanks, that is when we truly start to see that we are still becoming what God wants us to be.

"It could be said that the experience of entire sanctification is as unique as each individual. While we must certainly find ways to keep the articulation of entire sanctification dynamic, relevant, and realistic, and to allow for differences from person to person, to blend—unite—entire sanctification with progressive sanctification is to separate ourselves from what it means to be a Holiness church. Reemphasizing Wesley’s understanding of the “means of grace” is absolutely crucial to a balanced and healthy proclamation of God’s sanctifying work in the lives of God’s people." I have struggled with a good way to articulate entire sanctification in a way that makes sense. I stumbled upon a good example from the work of H. Orton Wiley: "Peace with God. This peace is the result of a change relationship between God and man. If follows when the sinner surrenders to God, is forgiven of his sins, and restored to the favor of God. This experience is known in both theology and the Scriptures as justification... The Peace of God. This peace is given as a bestowment - that which Christ has in himself, and which He bestows upon us in such a manner that it becomes ours... The peace of God is that which dwelt in Jesus' own breast, the deep tranquility of the soul which springs from resting wholly in God. As peace with God is called justification, so this peace of God is sanctification. It is communicated to us through the gift of the Holy Spirit, which removes all the carnal contradictions of the soul and enthrones in the purified heart the Prince of Peace." I think peace is something that everybody can relate to, and when you put it in the terms of Peace, it seems like an easy way to explain and understand what God is trying to do for us, in us, and through us.

"If we affirm that the reality of what is known as “holiness” or “sanctification”—which we believe was faithfully preached by Wesley and his successors—transcends time and space, we must see it as a vital message to be passed to future generations. This is the challenge: to regain or recreate an ethos, a vision, and a distinctive spirituality as we attempt to articulate the doctrine of holiness in the next century. This is not a task, however, for one theologian or one preacher or one teacher." I have struggled with this as I work with young people. How do I teach them about this idea of Christian Perfection, that Jesus teaches to be "perfect"? How do we tell young people to seek to live their lives this way in the midst of all of their busyness, their (sometimes unrealistic) expectations that are set by them, their families, their teachers, or coaches? How do we tell kids who are constantly told that they are not good enough that God wants them to live a perfect and holy life? How do we show the love of Jesus, and have it translate into growth towards a holy lifestyle? This is certainly a task made out for the Church to engage in!

[Godly] love is as new as every new moment. I love this concept. There is something so comforting about knowing that at each and every moment of the day, God is there, loving me regardless of my shortcomings and failures. Chris Tomlin, who has become the forerunner of modern worship music, portrays it perfectly: "This one thing remains: Your love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me." If I lose all that I am, all that I have gained in this world, I know one thing will always remain, his great, mighty, powerful, and unyielding love for me. It was that love that led to the suffering on the cross. His love never fails!

Getting Back Into Wesley's Journal: "About a thousand people stood patiently (though the frost was sharp, it being after sunset) while, from Acts 28:22, I simply described the plain, old religion of the Church of England, which is now almost everywhere spoken against, under the new name of Methodism. " I love the satire that I get from these words of Wesley. His work in England was largely chastised by the Anglican Church, although he never yielded his foundational loyalty to the Church of England. Wesley surely laments the fact that the Church of England did not view Wesley's Methodist movement as being a part of the their team. I think we can fall prey to that in our modern day. We live in a consumer-driven world, where people can come and go to restaurants, stores, even churches as they meet or do not meet specific needs. We can become resentful of other denominations or churches that seem to be attracting more people. The truth is that all who claim Jesus Christ as our God, our Lord and Savior must recognize that we are all on the same team! We are all living this life to further the Kingdom of Jesus Christ, and to that end we must respect and applaud the work that others are doing in the name of Jesus. I remember Jesus' rebuke of his disciples, who told a man not to cast out demons in Jesus' name because he was not "one of them". How many are there who are not "with us" that have the power to do great things in the name of God, that we hinder because of our own pride, vanity, or ambition?